Another T update, guys! Enjoy!

So...I'd been planning on doing a T update every month, to allow time for more...effects to occur. However, I decided to do one now. For about a week and a half now, my voice has been cracking very noticabley. God, it's so embarrassing >.<; Even though I'm happy about it. For the past few days, it's been so bad that I've been compared to Dori from Finding Nemo while she's speaking whale. Seriously, it's that bad guys >___O;;

I find it interesting though, other transguys that I've listened to through Youtube and such, some of them have been on T twice as long as me and don't seem to show any chance in voice. So I'm pretty happy that mine is cracking like this already. When it's not cracking, people say that I just sound hoarse, but since I don't have a recording device, I haven't been able to hear myself yet - other than through my own mouth, but we all know that you don't sound the same to yourself as you do to everyone else.

Anyway...today has been particularly exciting for me, because I haven't heard my voice crack today. I was even singing in the car, and it sounded fine. Pheww, Maybe I'm done with the squeaking? I'm not sure, but I really hope so.

Next week, I'm due for another doctor's appointment, and hopefully I'll get another prescription. I'm stoked.

Huzzah!

An update on T

So, I've been on T for just barely over a month now. Hurray! I really can't say that I see all that many changes yet. So far, I've been suffering more ance breakouts than usual. But it's nothing that a few Noxema pads won't take care of. I've also realized that I smell a little different. I know that this is odd, but it's true, I swear it xD But I expected that; my good ol' doctor said that men and women smell differently due to hormones. Another change that I've realized, or rather, that my family and friends keep pointing out is that my arms seem bigger. Honestly, I can't really be sure xD I've looked at them, and I don't see a change, but several people keep saying it, so I guess it's true, right?

Anyway, that's enough about T for now, let's get on to something more...depressing.

My grandmother isn't very happy about my transition, like I've mentioned. The other day, she told me that it's been really hard on her, and that she may or may not be kicking me out. If she does this, I'm fucking screwed, I won't sugar-coat it. I can't go to my father and stepmom, on account of my stepmother hates me and practically kicked me out once already. I can't go to my mother, because I'd kill her son (Yes, her son, not my brother,) I can't go to my oldest sister's because she has enough on her plate already, and I can't go to my other sister because I used to live with her and she tried to kick me out - and then I left. I've got no friends that I can move in with, so basically...if I get booted out, I'm more or less on the streets. My father says that he'd let me move back temporarily, but I really doubt that my stepmother would let me back in.

Believe me, I'm definitely feeling the stress, but I'm just trying to take life one day at a time.

I realized something the other day; During my transition so far, no one in my family has ever asked me if Testosterone is making me happier. Realizing this really hurt, because I'm doing this transition to make myself happy, but everyone outside of my friends seem to think that I'm doing this just to hurt them. Yeah...Sure, I'm changing my sex to make the whole world turn against me - I'm not that fucking pathetic, thanks.

Hoping that tomorrow is better

Today, my cousin got married. Whoopdeefuckingdoo.
Sorry, but I don't care. I really don't care. I went. So that means something, right? Sure, I guess so.

I dropped my grandmother and my other cousins off at our home, and I grabbed my T, and I went to mum's. At mum's, I'm feeling extremely aggrivated. I'm annoyed and pissed off and everything's bugging me. I really hate those last few days of the week before I get to take my next shot. Seriously.

I'm just really hoping that tomorrow is better.
Cheers!

Now witness the best fucking bento ever!

[img]http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/4/2008/12/494x_walle_bento.jpg[/img]

Just checking in

Wow, so...I'll apologize now for the random hiatus. Seriously, wow, so much has happened between my last posting and now >__O; The only trouble is that I'm not sure that I'll remember it all xDD Ah, such is life. So, let's pick up where I left off, right?

I've been on testosterone since May 9th. I've taken four shots so far, but I haven't really noticed any changes yet =__=; *Sigh* the only changes that I can report as of now is the fact that I feel really confident about myself, which has given me the figurative balls to try talking an octave or so lower *But I sound like I have a cold while I do this* I've also realized that I have a shit-ton of energy now xD Like, I have issues sleeping because I'm wired 24/7 xDD Hahaa. It's great, but sucks at the same time o.O; Go figure...Ahem, I've also realized that Mondays and Tuesdays are my happy days, since the T is highest in my system at this time *Grin* So yeah, I like Mondays and Tuesdays now. And...yes, I'm going to tell you this even if it's creepy (Since this blog is meant specifically to help my fellow transboys understand what's happening to them while they're on T) Frankly...I am horny all the time >___O; It's actually getting annoying now xDD Yes, I'm very blunt, but it's true. T makes you horny, especially when your natural T levels are as low as mine were. 43. Seriously. I'm such a fucking girly boy.

Ahem, other than this, I've started school again.

I've been attending my humanities class, and...it's interesting. But I feel really out of place because I'm quite the hardcore atheist, and we're talking about nothing but religion right now. Everytime the teacher brings up Genesis or Revelations, I just stare at her like "o___O; Say what?" So yeah...that part sucks, but oh well. Oh, and my teacher has a way very Italian accent, and she has the hardest time saying "Darius," xD God, it makes me laugh *Snort*

Uhm...What else?

Well, I'm working on getting a laptop, cus I really need one for school.

Oh! And I'm going to Pride this Sunday! I'm super excited! The only thing that I don't like about Pride is the fact that I feel like a minority there...since I'm one of the only primarily straight transboys that I know =__=; Oh, and I can't forget to write about going to Pride for extra credit in my Humanities class. Don't forget, Dar-bear! <3